My Story: How it started

So as promised i am going to do a post on my story.

Im not really sure how or when i started to fall into this turmoil but i must say just like how most eating disorders starts, it is through innocently dieting till it goes out of control.
So from what little that i remember my highest weight is 44.5 kg and that was in secondary 1, age 13, where my height is around 147-150, it was a total turn off.
I knew i wasn't so affected with my weight till around the mid of that year(2011)? I know i didnt cut out any kinds of food then but i did skip meals during the holidays.
I did continue to eat normally then, until the end of 2011 when dieting started to become more serious. As mentioned i started skipping meals due to my irregular sleeping, i did exercise more and probably had cut down on some of my portion size. But i must say i didnt feel guilty after eating, i wasnt so affected but i knew i wanted to lose weight.

By the start of 2012 i have managed to lose 2kg, and was at the weight of 42.5kg not forgetting that i have grew to be 155cm in height. I was of course delighted and motivated to lose more weight. I was ore focused on what i was eating, i started eating lesser, cutting out certain foods and exercising regularly. I must say i have started to feel guilty if i have eaten too much and went on to exercise.
By july i have lost weight again and i was 39.5kg. Of course i was elated and well it just pushed me on to lose more weight and that was what i did and probably where anorexia really kicked in.

I was skipping breakfast, for lunch i had very little, like an energy bar with a fruit or soup with fruit. I tried to skip dinner whenever possible and if i do eat dinner i would go exercise it all away. Swam at least 50 laps, ran at least half an hour, skipped at least half an hour. It was crazy.
Of course with this crazy diet, the numbers started to go down really quickly and well fats were gone. Teacher's started noticing and well i was sent to the psychiatrist specialising in eating disorder.

My first appointment was around August, my weight had drooped all the way to 34.7kg, and then i thought i was 36kg. I didnt believe it and wanted to go down even more. Following few visits i was losing weight, and by september holidays i had managed to lose till 30kg, my dream goal. But doctors obviously wanted me to gain and so that is what i did.
I will elaborate more about my anorexia recovery in my next post.

So yup that is how it started. I can say the reason why i wanted to lose weight was because my school was filled with skinny and pretty girls and i wanted to be them. So yeah, also people calling me fat had contributed to it. Hence i must say, please do not call a girl FAT or she might fall into this downhill too.


I want to lose all my recovery weight, and am in the process of losing. I am so glad i had managed to lose some. I probably wont go back down to 30 but if i can i will. But i will try to maintain at 35 so mother cannot say anything, in fact no one can.

P.s i am 155cm and 39kg as of date. Hopefully i will be 35 by end of this year.
Will post about my recovery journey and life after recovery next time.

And as if good grades represent your knowledge in life
And as if expensive items represent your self-worth
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