Quotes

Im the designer of my own catastrophe
Im the architect of my own destruction
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead
You planted roses in my heart, daisies in my mind, lilies in my eyes, and left them all to die there

30 October 2013

Deserving

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately.
I mean, if even anyone is reading? 

Whatever, that's not the point. The point is, I've been eating so much lately and having such horrible body images. I just feel like dying.

I ate popcorn today, I also had this sudden crave and need for economic rice and sushi. So fml. I made nuggets and sausages and ate biscuits. I'm just an uncontrollable fatass that needs to stop wasting space.

I hate how people always lie about someone else's physique. Just be honest, I'm fat tell me that. I have a love hate relationship with my haters. They tell me the brutal truth but at the same time bring me down so cruelly. Maybe that's good, a reminder that I don't deserve to be here and how horrible I am.

Birthday dinner at grammas this sat, I know I'm going to overeat because it is grammas. I just hope I can control myself.
Oh I think my class is having pizza on Friday, I'll just make a dumb excuse that I have something else on so I can escape it. I mean I don't even have real friends.

Talking about friends, what would you do if someone you thought understood you and would always be there for you just left? I did nothing, I just let it happened, she said nothing is wrong but I think she is hiding it. Whatever the reason though, I shan't be sad over it. I mean I deserve it, deserve to be a loner because I'm just a freak. She constantly leaves me out, goes to class first and everything. Well whatever, life is just unfair like this. Anyways I got to focus on my studies and try to do well. I'll work on my social skills some other times. 

I hope I wasn't this fat. Going to exercise later. Well duh, I'm a fatass. 

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